The Strange Irony of Mike Huckabee

So Mike Huckabee is the "likeable" sort of candidate, an honest and decent man fighting the big bullies of the Republican machine. Really? As Jack Nicholson in The Shining sneeringly says to Shelly Duvall while locked in the food locker, "Wendy? Wendy? You got a big surprise comin' to you. You're not goin' anywhere. Go check out the Sno-Cat and the radio and you'll see what I mean. Go check it out. Go check it out! Go check it out."

Mike Huckabee's certainly got a big surprise for us. Go check out his remarks conflating homosexuality and bestiality and you'll see what he means. He apparently wants to change the Constitution to conform to God's standards. OK, Mike, whatever you say. Had to go there, didn't you? You sort of had me for a while thinking you were at least decent. Now you're just a bat-shit crazy, hateful motherfucker. And in a more insidious and less smarmy way than George W. Bush could ever be. And that's what makes your candidacy all the more deadly.

You will notice that the Republican Establishment will not be condemning him for these blatantly bigoted remarks. No, what they hate is his populist and quasi-eco-friendly message. How dare he talk about reforming health care! How dare he talk about being good to the earth! He's not a true Republican...like Ronald Reagan! He's not a true conservative! As if the the right wing blowhards ever had the slightest idea of what the word 'conservative' means. Christ these people are freaks. And they just can't get over their obsession with Mr. Senile-While-In-Office, Mr. Welfare-Queen-Driving-Cadillacs, Mr. Deny-AIDS-Is-An-Epidemic-While-Thousands-Suffer-And-Die-In-New-York-And-San-Francisco Ronald freakin' Reagan. Go ahead, have him, Republicans. He's in every fucking one of your freak candidates for president, only you're too blind, confused and otherwise fucked up in the head to see it. And yes, he's in John torture-boy McCain, too.

Republicans(TM). Hating On America For Thirty Years (And Getting Away With It)!