"Did you know that in the past 12 years, the value of gold has gone up a little bit?
"Speaking of gold case, I'm late for work. I work for GOLD."
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Just Say 'Motherfucker' Already!
What's with the irritating ad campaign on NYC buses for the latest Die Hard movie (Live Free Or Die Harder: Die Hard 4 -- gaaah! That's a total rip-off of New Hampshire's slogan, 'Live Free Or Die! How fucking lazy)?
"YIPPEE KI YAY MO- -John 6:27" (The 'O' is cut off in the middle! I need a cigarette.)
What the fuuuuuck? AAAAAAGGGHHH!
Yes, I know it refers to the famous line Bruce Willis (John Whatever in the movie) swaggeringly delivers just before a big explosion in all the Die Hards -- "yippee ki yay, motherfucker." I wish I didn't know this, but I do. What make the ads so irritating -- and insipid -- is the ever so American notion of the 'tease.' You know, come up with some obscure (at first) phrase that just registers enough to make people salivate with recognition -- "Ooh, another Die Hard is coming out! Awesome! Right, that line I love so much -- Yippee Ki Yay, Motherfucker! I love that part!"
Of course, you know that kids all over are asking, 'What is MO (and the 'O', by the way, is cut off to make the Pavlovian response all the more intense), Mommy?' 'Oh, I don't know, sweetie. I think it might be Motherfucker. Let's go to the zoo, hon.' Yes, and so kids at school are now giggling in class talking about how cool the ads are, whispering 'Motherfucker' everywhere and probably getting not a few detentions/suspensions for it. The profanity part doesn't really bother me, really. It's that wink-and-a-nod way it is presented, appealing to the lower back part of our brains instead of the front. These artless teases have always bugged me. Why not just be direct? If you want to say Motherfucker, just say it! Otherwise, come up with something else. Here's one: 'Catch the new Die Hard -- "Live Free Or Die Harder: Die Hard 4," starring Bruce Willis, in theaters June 27th.' There. Simple. To the point. Doesn't annoy me or waste my time making me think about how much I hate the Die Hard franchise and the endless insipid comparisons to it to sell other movies, "Die Hard in a..." "Die Hard on a..." "Die Hard with a..."
"You know it's ah, really difficult to open mayonnaise, when your fingers are covered in your own blood and your head is filled with the endless ticking of a stupid sound effect!"
"YIPPEE KI YAY MO- -John 6:27" (The 'O' is cut off in the middle! I need a cigarette.)
What the fuuuuuck? AAAAAAGGGHHH!
Yes, I know it refers to the famous line Bruce Willis (John Whatever in the movie) swaggeringly delivers just before a big explosion in all the Die Hards -- "yippee ki yay, motherfucker." I wish I didn't know this, but I do. What make the ads so irritating -- and insipid -- is the ever so American notion of the 'tease.' You know, come up with some obscure (at first) phrase that just registers enough to make people salivate with recognition -- "Ooh, another Die Hard is coming out! Awesome! Right, that line I love so much -- Yippee Ki Yay, Motherfucker! I love that part!"
Of course, you know that kids all over are asking, 'What is MO (and the 'O', by the way, is cut off to make the Pavlovian response all the more intense), Mommy?' 'Oh, I don't know, sweetie. I think it might be Motherfucker. Let's go to the zoo, hon.' Yes, and so kids at school are now giggling in class talking about how cool the ads are, whispering 'Motherfucker' everywhere and probably getting not a few detentions/suspensions for it. The profanity part doesn't really bother me, really. It's that wink-and-a-nod way it is presented, appealing to the lower back part of our brains instead of the front. These artless teases have always bugged me. Why not just be direct? If you want to say Motherfucker, just say it! Otherwise, come up with something else. Here's one: 'Catch the new Die Hard -- "Live Free Or Die Harder: Die Hard 4," starring Bruce Willis, in theaters June 27th.' There. Simple. To the point. Doesn't annoy me or waste my time making me think about how much I hate the Die Hard franchise and the endless insipid comparisons to it to sell other movies, "Die Hard in a..." "Die Hard on a..." "Die Hard with a..."
"You know it's ah, really difficult to open mayonnaise, when your fingers are covered in your own blood and your head is filled with the endless ticking of a stupid sound effect!"
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
A Question
JimmyQ1: Do you think Jesus Christ lighsk bright lighst during the long winter nighst?
JimmyQ2: I don't know. Let's ask our neighbors, the Wighst.
[Another night on cold medication.]
JimmyQ2: I don't know. Let's ask our neighbors, the Wighst.
[Another night on cold medication.]
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