Scum Zombies

The House Republican-Teapublican alliance is at it again. They are just about the lowest form of deformed human you can get, and they don't care a rat's ass about good ol' USA. They claim they represent their "districts" although their districts are nothing more than gerrymandered geographical long-fingered hydra-shaped messes containing more human scum. These proto-fascist zombies have managed to bring the world economy to its knees, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.

The Conundrum of Sochi

I can't quit the feeling that the Sochi Olympics happening as planned is just such an impossibility. There he is, Vladimir Putin, presiding over the Opening Ceremonies, all smug, that cold, soul-less look in his eyes that makes Dick Cheney seem warm -- all this happening while Russia's gay citizens are being rounded up, Nazi-style, Putin's own "Pink Ghetto" realized in our time.

And nothing happens? No acts of protest, not a single rainbow flag, even a pin? Just business as usual, Bob Costas commenting on some peculiar factoid of country X.

Too many gay voices arguing against a boycott (namely Johnny Weir, but soon to be followed by many more) would seem to doom that possibility, although world events should sort that out (I still say unlikely to happen).

Moving the Olympics to another venue seems a pipe dream, for many reasons. George Takei has taken up this mantle, along with MSNBC's Lawrence O'Donnell. Takei says it is still "possible". Rhetoric like that usually means pipe dream.

So that leaves Sochi 2014 Winter Games, fill in the blank. I can't fathom a total IOC-censored event, given the European representation.

And -- Figure Frickin' Skating! Johnny Weir! The IOC may warn athletes against openly political symbols during the OCs, but that doesn't prevent the commentators, friends and former athletes from showing up and displaying same. And exactly where does Bob Costas stand on this?

This is such a big deal, the huge, gigantic Elephant in the Stadium that can't be ignored. Tilda Swinton said it all in that rainbow flag-waving act of defiance in Red Square.

An ego-maniacal madman such as Putin couldn't stand the embarrassment that's about to descend on him, could he? Will All Of It be whitewashed? Or will all these laws just magically go away -- never happened, just a typo, sorry for the confusion?

Because somehow or other there will be a showdown on gay rights for all the world to see. And gay people in lots of countries are indeed persecuted, jailed, tortured and killed. And frankly Putin can't afford the unavoidable embarrassment resulting from the havoc his laws would wreak upon hundreds of influential foreigners. Putin is nothing but a pathetic Joseph Stalin-wannabe coward. He doesn't have the guts to stand this down, nor frankly the religious conviction of, say, an Ayatollah. He will be forced to squirm like the 12-year-old bully he is.

What an unexpected turn of events these Olympics have spawned. And it's about time.

Showdown in Sochi

Vladimir Putin has won the prize for Biggest Bully in the World. Now it is time for the World to strike back.

Vlad, your days of glory and self-declared greatness are about to come to a screeching halt, you sad, sad motherfucker. One way or another, the good citizens of the world will defeat your hate, will defeat your hyper-machismo posturing, will defeat you.

And I will be there to watch you squirm.

Come Opening Ceremonies, be they in Sochi, Europa or Vancouver, your world of sycophantic sheep and jack-booted thugs rounding up an oppressed minority will crumble like a house built of wet toilet paper.

It'll just take one athlete holding up that Rainbow Flag you deem "propaganda" worthy of jail time. Go ahead, motherfucker, arrest Johnny Weir, and watch the spectacle as others follow and are arrested while the world watches in horror. How will you like your splendid little country then?

We are coming for you, gay haters around the world. Yes, that means you, Jamaica. And you, Uganda. Yes even you, Singapore.

A thousand rainbow flags waved proudly while two billion people watch. Hey Vlad, you won't be able to do a thing about it. Go check out the dustbin of history and you'll see what I mean.

Go check it out!

Oops -- didn't mean to push ya!

Murder and Hate In My Back Yard

Mark Carson's death is a wake-up call for all of us. We need a ban on all hand guns, and I don't  give a flying fuck whether you think this will stop criminals from killing, the fact is it will, asshole. I don't want a stupid gun. This murdering hate-mongering piece of filth a.k.a. Elliot Morales should never see the light of day, but I'm not angling for his torture in solitary confinement in our abysmal prison system.

The U.S. to a great extent harbors and nourishes a culture of death like no other in the Western world. America is a nation that arms itself to the teeth with increasingly lethal and military-style firearm, yet nary a firearm death is reported as an act of self-defense. Add to that our utterly stupid political class that fetishizes the notion of a Wild West -- the myth of carrying around AR-15s in the farcical hope they will protect against intruders is indeed a deadly one -- statistics tell us that more deaths arise in households with guns than those without them.

I really hate our culture, and I no longer feel safe here. I'm finding myself longing for a safer place to live in Europe, maybe even Canada, a place where sane gun laws and gun control do indeed result in orders of magnitude fewer deaths by guns.

I hate guns. Period, now. I don't give a fuck about the Second Amendment. It is our death sentence.

Liza Minnelli Tries To Turn Off a Lamp

[New York City, 1982 in a swanky Manhattan apartment]

Agent:  Sugar, babe, it’s the opening night of Cats and the curtain goes up in fifteen minutes we gotta scoot, Liza!

Liza:  Oh, sure, I’d be delighted! Just let me turn off some of these lamps [raises leg vertically while lying on couch].

Announcer:  And now: Liza Minnelli Tries to Turn Off a Lamp

Liza  [getting up and moseying over to lamp to jazz beat]:  Just let me check it out over here. [finding lamp] Oh, I see it, here’s the scoundrel – here’s the trouble-maker right here! Time to turn this doodad off, OH!! [raising arms, posing suggestively]

Agent:  Want me to help ya, Liza?

Liza:  Oh no, darlin’ – you just relax. I just need to find the clicker, or the switch that turns this whole cuckoo thing down! Is there a little knob on here that you turn and everything goes black?

Agent:  I don’t know, Liza, it’s probably pretty simple.

Liza:  You tell that to Debbie Reynolds! [does jazz hands.]

Agent:  What?

Liza:  [doing jazz hands] Ok, there’s…gotta be a turner, or like a ball, on the end of a chain, remember that?

Agent:  Remember what, Liza?

Liza:  [turning belt around stripper-tease style] Chain, ball - ka-CHING remember that? Oh! [collapsing on couch] Atlantic City! I choked on a shrimp! [putting legs in the air]

Agent:  I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about—Liza! Forget the light, we gotta GO!

Liza:  [writing on couch] Oh…oh I’m thinking it might be in the box of a middle of a chord or a thin plastic clicker wheel in the middle—you kick it ONCE! [kicks with cymbal crash] You kick it twice! [two cymbal crashes] You kick it three times. [throws hips with three slow cymbal or gong crashes] And the light goes on and the party starts! [turns head around dramatically]

Agent:  Baby, we’re gonna miss the SHOW! Don’t make those little kitties wait, we’re gonna miss Caaats.

Liza:  Oh, then I better turn off this skinny lady [tussling hair, moving back toward lamp]. Is it a foot-tapper? ONCE! [three quick congo drum hits] TWICE! [three quick congo drum hits w/ hi-hat cymbal at end] Three? [three quick congo drum hits w/ hi-hat cymbal at end] Will a Fosse-neck do it? [jutting out neck, Egyptian-style]

Agent: Nooooooo!

Liza:  Hey, remember this? [covering face with fingers spread apart]

Agent:  Just turn the lamp off – I’m floggin’ for Chris and Pete, the car’s waitin’ downstairs…

Liza:  Oh, that’s right, the lamp, that little rascal. Oh, wait—here it is. I found the chord! [grabbing chord, putting it over shoulder] I just have to pull it out of the wall [tussling hair] Aaaaoooh! Look…how long this chord is—Ben Vereen it’s long! I’m not getting anywhere with it, it’s like Tommy Tune!

Agent:  ‘Cuz you’re walkin’ in plaaaace!

Liza:  Am I? I just gotta find the clicker that dims the whole shebang. [sticks out butt and arms]

Agent:  Once again, not my house, not my lamp!

Liza: [holding lamp] Oh – here it is, it’s just a button. What’s all the neck but – you don’t push it, you gotta give it a little turn. [twirling around, turns off lamp] I did it! [jazz hands]

Agent:  Good job, Liza baby, good job.

Liza:  Pow! [jazz hands]

Agent:  And, we missed the show.

Liza:  The heck with Cats, let’s dance!

[Agent gets up to dance with Liza]

Announcer:  This has been Liza Minnelli Tries to Turn Off a Lamp.

Shameless, Cowardly Demons

This just makes me numb. The gun lobby knows their arguments are shit. Self-defense against a tyrannical government? Don't make me laugh - where are your M2 Brownings, your B-2 bombers, your tanks, your drones, your Blackhawks, your nukes, sir? Oh, don't have that? You're only equipped with a few measly AR-15s equipped with multiple 30-round magazines? How cute. Aw, what's that? Got a case of the boo-hoo-hoos on account of the fact that you know this won't stop the full force and fury of the U.S. military machine?

The parade of lies from the likes of baby-killer and terrorist Wayne LaPierre (he of the terrorist organization known as the "National Rifle Association") have stunningly worked again in our cowed Congress, even after Newtown. Twenty six- and seven-year-olds gunned down can't convince these 45 cold, soulless cowardly demons to even have a fucking debate on a measure to expand background checks so that criminally-minded and insane people can't buy semi-automatic human killing machines. This goes beyond shame. I'm glad I don't have kids, because I'd have to every day fear for their safety. Newtown could happen anywhere folks, and it likely will happen again, thanks to these 45 demons in the United States Senate.

Let's call each and every one these motherfuckers out. I don't care whether there's an R or a D next to your name, you evil fuck - you will be hearing from us, the sane 90%, soon (Harry Reid doesn't get a mention as his NO vote will make it possible to bring this up again):

Lamar Alexander (R, TN)
Kelly Ayotte (R, NH)
John Barrasso (R, WY)
Max Baucus (D, MT)
Mark Begich (D, AK)
Roy Blunt (R, MO)
John Boozman (R, AR)
Richard M. Burr (R, NC)
Saxby Chambliss (R, GA)
Daniel Coats (R, IN)
Tom Coburn (R, OK)
Thad Cochran (R, MS)
Bob Corker (R, TN)
John Cornyn (R, TX)
Michael D. Crapo (R, ID)
Ted Cruz (R, TX)
Michael B. Enzi (R, WY)
Deb Fischer (R, NE)
Jeff Flake (R, AZ)
Lindsey Graham (R, SC)
Charles E. Grassley (R, IA)
Orrin G. Hatch (R, UT)
Heidi Heitkamp (D, ND)
Dean Heller (R, NV)
John Hoeven (R, ND)
James M. Inhofe (R, OK)
Johnny Isakson (R, GA)
Mike Johanns (R, NE)
Ron Johnson (R, WI)
Mike Lee (R, UT)
Mitch McConnell (R, KY)
Jerry Moran (R, KS)
Lisa Murkowski (R, AK)
Rand Paul (R, KY)
Rob Portman (R, OH)
Mark Pryor (D, AR)
Jim Risch (R, ID)
Pat Roberts (R, KS)
Marco Rubio (R, FL)
Tim Scott (R, SC)
Jeff Sessions (R, AL)
Richard C. Shelby (R, AL)
John Thune (R, SD)
David Vitter (R, LA)
Roger Wicker (R, MS)

Why is it that gun fanatics, gun fetishists, always come from rural districts and states? Most gun deaths happen in cities. But yet people in cites don't generally have this paranoid feeling about the federal government, and they don't think having semi-automatic weapons will "protect" them. How many times do I have to repeat this: statistics show that the more guns one is have in one's home, the more likely one will be killed by said guns. Statistics DON'T say that having a gun in your home makes you safer, and typically one doesn't have enough time to go get said gun and "protect" oneself should another gunperson break in with the intent to shoot and kill. Got it?

Zero. Arguments. Left.